My Dear Good Friend
by ladyofnite
Summary: Gibbs can't resist the urge sometimes. After all, what kind of friend would he be if he didn't? Tobias knew becoming friends with a self-proclaimed 'bastard' was a bad idea- or at least he should have!
1. Chapter 1

My Dear Good Friends

Chapter One- Mischievous Jethro

Friday, April 1st.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs always enjoyed working on his boat. He was on his fourth now and truly believed that this one had a good chance of being finished. He couldn't say for certain- he might come home tomorrow and destroy it in a fit of rage- but he had a good feeling about this one.

In spite of his good mood, he wasn't actually working on the boat at the moment. He was down in his basement- the part of his house where he was most comfortable- but wasn't in the mood at the moment. He hadn't had a case in a few days, none of his team was in danger (for once) and Jenny had given him a new bottle of bourbon for going a week without frightening Cynthia (his best record to date).

All in all, it was a good time for him. He wouldn't exactly say he was happy- hadn't given himself over to that emotion in years- but he was relatively content.

And the night was going to get a lot more fun really soon.

So, he sat there, sipping his bourbon (for once, out of an actual glass that had not first held coffee or nails) and smirking as he thought of what he'd done.

***  
>Flashback—Monday, March 28th<br>***

"_McGee." After another hard day of paperwork and more paperwork, the inevitable conclusion of a case, Gibbs had just released his team. Tony had run out so fast he'd forgotten his jacket and Ziva hadn't even bothered to turn off her computer. Tim was the only one of the group who hadn't seemed to mind the day, but then again there were still a lot of computers that had to be processed from the last case that he could go downstairs to Abby's lab to play with from time to time (and Gibbs didn't believe for a second that McGee and Abby were down there doing nothing but work- not that he wanted to contemplate what his team might or might not be doing and what rules they might or might not be breaking for even a second). _

_Gibbs had had something in mind for a few days, mulling around in his brain, and today seemed to be the perfect day to implement it. Obviously McGee didn't have any plans and he was neither exhausted from too much work or from tedious paperwork. _

"_I have a favor to ask you. Are you busy tonight?" Gibbs questioned him. _

_He had to wait a minute or three as McGee still couldn't help the stammering that started up every time Gibbs did something out of character, holding back a sigh as he did so. When he'd finally managed to get McGee transferred to his team, he'd held himself back in order to not scare the computer geek into running screaming back to Norfolk, but apparently he'd held back too much, as now almost every attempt he made to get close to the youngest man on his team was met with confusion and anxiety. _

"_N-no, Boss." McGee finally managed. "What, uh, what do you need?" _

_Gibbs pulled out the phone that had cost him a bundle of money. Oh well, it wasn't like he spent money on anything besides ex-wives, wood and bourbon. Besides, it would totally be worth it later on. "Jenny's been harping on me about getting this new phone and I'm under strict orders not to break it for at least three months." _

"_Oh!" McGee visibly calmed down, his eyes gleaming with interest as he took in the new top-of-the-line phone Gibbs held up. "So, you want me to teach you how to use it?" _

"_If you think you can do it." Gibbs couldn't resist, as always, challenging his men. _

_Luckily, this was the sort of challenge McGee would excel at. "No problem, Boss." He said confidently. "We can get that set up in no time. It has all kinds of apps that you can use during investigations- I can download them for you and-"_

"_Sounds great, McGee." Gibbs cut off the other man with a hasty smile. "How about you come by my house around 8? We'll have some steaks and beer and work out that phone." _

"_Sure, Boss. See you then." And with that, his agent had scurried quickly away after the others._

_McGee had arrived, as per usual, promptly fifteen minutes before the appointed time. Well used to his agent's habits, Gibbs was just pulling the steaks out of the fireplace when his front door was tentatively opened. He carefully hid his smile as his agent came in and took a seat on the couch. At least he hadn't knocked this time. McGee visited Gibbs' house less often than any of the others and had surprised the hell out of Gibbs the first time he'd came by to visit by actually knocking on his front door. Not a single other member of his team had ever knocked, but then again, none of them had the manners that Tim McGee lived by. _

"_Hey, Tim." Gibbs casually slid one of the steaks onto the spare plate he had laid out along with their beers and pushed it over to his agent. _

"_H-hey, Boss." Tim gave him a hesitant smile, but cheerfully took the steak. "Um, so where's the phone?" _

_Gibbs laughed. All of DiNozzo's laziness had to be because he took up McGee's share too, as Tim was never one for procrastinating. "Eat first. After that crap Ziva bought for lunch, you need it." He needed it too- Ziva had definitely earned her head smack for the day with that disgusting 'lunch'. _

"_Yeah." Tim could heartily agree there, wincing as he remembered the taste of the horrific tofu concoction Ziva had brought them for lunch. "I think we should take her off of lunch rotation." He said, smiling. _

"_Sure." Gibbs took a bite of his steak, moaning in pleasure. "As long as you tell her." _

_He was pleased to see the younger man laugh, finally relaxing. "No way," Tim said, shaking his head. "You're the Boss." _

"_And she's a Mossad-trained assassin." Gibbs teased. "More than that, she's a woman. Women are tricky things, McGee. Any woman would get angry if you criticized her food choices. This one has knives up her sleeves. We take enough risks every day without taking a stupid one." _

"_Yeah," Tim agreed, taking a sip of beer. "Maybe we'll get lucky and Tony'll get brave one day." _

_They both laughed. Tony was probably the hardest hit on those unfortunate days it was Ziva's turn to make the lunch run. She seemed to compensate her meals for Tony's, making hers as healthy as his was greasy. His face looked a little more revolted every time he opened his 'meal'. _

_To Gibbs' relief, they fell into an easy silence, broken only by soft jazz from a small radio he'd hunted from somewhere. He knew McGee liked jazz and was already feeling slightly guilty about using the other man, so he'd made sure to make the other man as comfortable as possible. Though he used McGee's skills at work with no guilt, as this was outside of work he didn't really have the right. But McGee would definitely be the first of those affected to forgive him, so he wasn't too bothered. Guilt was, after all, a rather familiar feeling for him. _

_All too soon they finished up their meal, however, and Gibbs went to retrieve his new piece of technological torture while Tim grabbed the two of them new beers and they settled down to business. Gibbs had brought the box and papers that had come with the phone, but, to his amusement, Tim didn't even look at them. _

_Instead, the younger man took the phone, zoning out for a few minutes, as he looked through it. His face acquired the same intense look it did when he was tracking things down on his computer and Gibbs was content to let the Master work at his craft. _

_In spite of his hopes, it only took McGee about ten minutes to learn everything he needed to know about the phone and begin Gibbs' least favorite part of his plot. "Okay, Boss. It works like this-"_

_An hour later, Gibbs knew more about phones than he ever had before. He'd only had to slap McGee twice to avoid geek-speak and the young man had become better than ever at explaining things so that Gibbs could understand them. To top it off, Gibbs got yet another reminder of just how lucky he was to have the young computer genius, as McGee showed him some 'apps' that he'd written himself. Gibbs was sure that four out of the five would be illegal, should anyone be aware of them, and he knew for a fact that the fifth was. _

_He couldn't have been more proud of the boy. _

"_Thanks, Tim." He said when McGee finally wound down. "This will be great- I can't wait to shove it in Tobias's face. The FBI has had these phones for almost two months now and he still can't even put the numbers in his contact list." He smirked. Not only was that true, he hadn't even had to put _his_ contact numbers in - McGee had done that for him._

_And, as he knew would happen, McGee took the bait. "Agent Fornell has this phone too?" He asked tentatively. _

"_Yep." Gibbs nodded. "That's why Jenny wanted us to have them. We can't compete with the FBI on many things, but all Senior Agents now have the same fancy phones." Of course, he'd had to pay for his own, as when Jenny had tentatively made the suggestion, Gibbs had thrown a fit that left Jenny cringing for a week afterwards every time she saw him and had made Cynthia run away from him faster than Jimmy Palmer every time he'd encountered her for the next month. Loyal, Cynthia was not- it was a good thing he'd trained Jenny to take care of herself. But it was no matter. He had no doubts this one would break soon enough and Jenny would replace it, not wanting him to go back to an older model. _

"_Well, Boss," Tim shrugged uneasily. "If he needs help, I can help him. I mean, he's a lot like you with computers and stuff and I didn't do too badly explaining to you…right?" _

"_No, that was great." Gibbs quickly reassured his agent as the anxiety returned to his face. "I actually might be able to use this piece of junk, thanks to you. I'm sure he'll be around soon- it's been almost two weeks since we last saw him and he can't avoid us much longer- but when he does, I'll let him know you offered. Thanks, McGee." _

"_No problem, Boss." Tim said, standing. "Well, Boss, I've gotta get going. I'd like to go online for awhile before I hit the sack." _

"_Sure," Gibbs got up as well, walking the other man to the door. "You weren't online earlier?" He had to ask. Maybe it was all of Tony's teasing, but he couldn't help but feel that maybe the kid did spend a bit too much time online. _

"_No, I wasn't online earlier. I finished two chapters in my next book." _

_Oh, well that changed things. "That's great." Gibbs said, grinning. "I can't wait to see what the team gets up to next." _

_After the whole fiasco with McGee's little sister and Tony and Ziva finding out about the book, McGee had received some of the worst teasing in his career. His partners were both still angry about his interpretations of them and Tony was angry on top of that because McGee had hidden having a sister from them, but Gibbs couldn't have cared less. He'd known about the book for quite some time and was glad he could now admit to having it. After the fighting had calmed, he'd been able to tell McGee how much he'd liked it and that he was still waiting for the second volume. _

"_Ah, yeah." McGee still looked hesitant whenever he was discussing his book. "I kinda wanna just send Lisa back to Israel and Tommy back to Baltimore just to shut up Ziva and Tony, but then what kind of a book would I have?" He said, laughing slightly. _

"_Oh, I dunno." Gibbs offered a grin. "MacGregor and LJ did pretty good tonight, didn't we?" _

***  
>End Flashback<br>***

He got his answer all too soon. He'd given up his silent meditation, throwing himself into the sanding of his boat, but paused as he heard his front door open.

Seconds later, it slammed shut, making dust fall from the ceiling. Jethro grinned, getting his answer and went back to his sanding. He was carefully not looking when his friend and fellow ex-husband-of-the-she-beast-known-as-Diane stomped down the stairs.

"You bastard!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two- Torturing Tobias

Gibbs didn't look up until he'd successfully hidden his grin. "Oh, hi, Tobias." He greeted the other man. "What brings you by tonight?"

"You bastard." The FBI agent didn't even look at his so-called friend, heading straight for the bourbon. "I ought to punch you."

"What?" Gibbs asked innocently. "Did something happen?"

"Your geek!" Tobias glared at his friend before taking a large drink of the bourbon. He had to take a moment afterwards to cough, gasping as he tried to get oxygen. He always forgot how strong Gibbs' brew was, but damned if he didn't need it at the moment.

"Which one?" Gibbs inquired, refusing to look at his friend? "Abby? Palmer? Ducky?"

Tobias laughed bitterly. "No, the one you left out! The one you sent after me! What did I ever do to you?"

Gibbs sat down his sanding block, turning to his friend suddenly. "I would bring to mind an event that occurred about seven years ago between you and _my _wife." He said, eyes glinting dangerously. He forced himself to calm down, remembering his prank, and smiled. "But, of course, I'm over that. I've moved on. Que sera sera and all that. I was just trying to help! You think I like listening to you complain all the time about your phone?"

"You are such a bastard!" Tobias exclaimed. He sighed heavily, sitting down in Gibbs' chair, though he didn't relinquish his hold on the bottle. "I apologized for that! You know I did. In any event, it's her fault- she didn't tell me she was married. By the time she did, she was pregnant!"

"Yeah, and I'd been Afloat for the last six months." Gibbs remembered every bitter detail of their shared past. "Coming home to find my wife two months' pregnant."

"You know I feel bad about it- I always have!" Tobias protested, handing the bottle over to Gibbs. "I thought we'd gotten past all that."

Gibbs leaned against his boat after accepting the bottle. He grabbed a coffee cup, which had been sitting underneath the boat for how long he didn't even want to guess, and quickly poured himself a measure before passing the bottled comfort back to his friend. "I know. And we have." He admitted, sipping the bourbon, as it was meant to be enjoyed. He grinned at his friend, unable to hide his amusement any longer, not that he'd fooled Tobias in the least. "I just couldn't resist."

Tobias laughed bitterly. "Why couldn't you have sent DiNozzo? Even Abby- I could have kicked either of them out without a qualm. I wouldn't have lost a minute's sleep." He pouted, quickly taking another sip of bourbon when he realized what he was doing.

"That's exactly why I did it." Gibbs explained proudly. "You like McGee. Everyone likes McGee. You couldn't kick him out. It wouldn't be right."

"He's like a freakin' puppy dog." Fornell took another drink of the bourbon, glaring at his friend. "It'd be like kicking out a puppy! You knew I couldn't do it! He was so excited- kept blabbering on about apps and icons and internet and email and other stuff I don't care about. How could I stop that? He was so happy!"

"You're a push-over, Fornell." Gibbs told his friend bluntly. "You always have been."

Fornell scoffed. "Yeah, I just bet you interrupted him and made him explain each and every part that you didn't understand." He taunted.

"He knows better." Gibbs lied easily after so many years. "So, come on! You've never been afraid to share the nitty-gritty with me before. Tell me what happened!"

Fornell rolled his eyes. "You didn't set up cameras? You sure as hell orchestrated the rest of it!" He accused his so-called friend. "He came over, probably just when you told him to…"

***  
>Flashback, a few hours earlier<br>***

_Tobias was out in his front yard, waving as Diane drove away with their daughter in the backseat. As usual, the little girl waved to her Daddy until out of sight and he waved back. He'd had the girl for a rare week, thanks to her Easter break, and was appropriately exhausted. Little girls were hard work. _

_He was just getting ready to go relax in front of the television when another car pulled into his driveway. It wasn't Diane's sporty little car, it was a Porsche. He couldn't even think of anyone he knew with such a car, but before he could get too confused, his visitor emerged. _

_He couldn't have been more confused. It was McGee- Gibbs' geek. The tall man had always looked younger than his true age, his baby face and good-natured personality making him seem barely out of his teens sometimes. _

_Gibbs guarded his men jealously- would have been angry at any of them for coming to Tobias instead of their team leader for any reason- so Tobias couldn't understand why the boy- the man!- was there. He didn't look upset, so Gibbs wasn't lying in a hospital or in an autopsy room somewhere. _

_No, instead young McGee looked as pleasant as ever. "Agent Fornell!" He greeted the older man with a genuine smile, not the smirk that DiNozzo so often offered. "How are you?" _

"_McGee." Tobias held out his hand, gravely greeting the younger man. "Is everything okay?" He asked as they shook hands._

"_Yeah…" McGee's grin fell slightly, his hand dropping limply to his side. "Gibbs didn't get ahold of you. He said he was going to." _

_Uh-oh. Now Tobias knew something was up. Gibbs had never failed to reach him when he needed to. If he was actually sending one of his agents to Tobias, it had to be for something important. So, with an inward sigh, he bid his relaxing night away and prepared to go save Jethro's ass once more. _

"_No, don't worry about it." He reassured the kid, patting him on the shoulder. "I've got time. Come on in." _

_He took Tim into his kitchen, grabbing them each a bottle of water before joining him at the table. He and Emily had spent the last half hour she was there coloring, so coloring sheets and crayons filtered the table. Tim was looking idly through them, but looked up when Tobias sat. _

"_Are you here to color, McGee?" Tobias teased. _

"_Hey, I have a little sister!" McGee protested, cheeks coloring. "I did my share of this when I was a teenager." _

'_So, what, last year then?' Fornell thought, cynical with age. "You should have come earlier- Emily would have loved a coloring partner." _

_McGee laughed, pushing the papers away. "Oh, no, I've colored more than my share of My Little Ponies- Sarah loved the things. I came to help you out!" He said, grinning at the other man. "Gibbs said you were having trouble with your new phone." _

_All at once, Gibbs' evil plot made sense. Tobias had been hung up on more than once by his so-called friend because he'd begun complaining about his new phone. And Gibbs knew that Tobias liked McGee best of all of his agents, so he'd roped the poor kid in to play- oh! He cringed. It was April First, of course. _

"_No, Tim." He said, thinking fast. McGee has a noble streak a mile wide. If he'd volunteered to do something for Gibbs, it would take a lot of maneuvering by Fornell to get him to leave it go. "You've been at work all day- it's Friday. You don't want to spend your Friday night with an old geezer like me. Go out and have fun!" _

"_Oh, it won't be any trouble!" Tim sounded far too chipper. "It shouldn't take us too long at all. Gibbs has the same phone and I ran him through everything a few days ago." _

_The young man looked up, smiling brightly at Fornell. "So?" He asked, even though they both already knew the answer. "You don't want Gibbs to be able to use a cell phone better than you do you?" _

_Tobias groaned and Tim's smile turned into a smirk. "You've spent too much time around Gibbs and DiNozzo." Tobias said, shaking his head. "You really need to get out of NCIS." _

"Hey!" Gibbs protested, laughing lazily. "Stop trying to steal my men, I mean it!" He added, scowling at his friend.

Tobias laughed. "I always thought I'd steal McGee in a minute if I could get away with it. God knows he's better than you deserve. And he's even more brilliant than I thought- he showed me two nifty little programs that he wrote that ought to be useful, if I can ever find them again on that damn phone."

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded, mentally laughing at the thought that Fornell had only gotten two of McGee's programs. Apps, whatever. Obviously they were the only two legal ones; McGee apparently hadn't believed Fornell to be as much like Gibbs as DiNozzo did, didn't think he'd break rules if necessary. Oh, well, the boy would learn. "He uses them all the time. Find some teenager, I'm sure they'll be able to help you."

Tobias leaned his head back, idly watching the ceiling as he thought Gibbs' words over. "Nah. They'll show up sooner or later- I can find anything on my phone given enough time. And if not, well, I've managed all these years without them."

Gibbs laughed. "Old dogs like us are a dying breed." He said, studying the small amount of liquor still in his cup. Small amounts of liquor always depressed him. "Even DiNozzo uses more technology than me. Pretty soon they'll have no more use for us because we mock their phones and they solve crimes with them."

"Don't be depressing." Tobias grabbed Gibbs' cup and filled it, passing it back quickly. He knew his friend all too well. "We'll just have to learn the damn stuff. Doesn't mean we have to like it. Or use it. I don't care if I ever find those things again. I sure as hell ain't gonna ask McGee, nice though he was. I didn't think I was going to escape him. I thought he'd take the damn phone apart next, so he could show me all the neat little electronic bits inside."

Gibbs gratefully sipped the bourbon that his so-called friend hadn't hogged- the thief!- and admitted, "McGee could do that. He rebuilds computers all the time, him and Abby."

Tobias laughed. "I bet that's not all he and Abby get up to in that lab!"

"Aw!" Gibbs winced, gagging slightly on his bourbon. "Come on! None of that; I don't want to hear that. Rule 12- none of them are breaking Rule 12. I might not be able to say that about many of the rules, but they know better."

"Yeah, right." Tobias scoffed, amused to see the pained look on Gibbs' face. "McGee's not an idiot; you've said so yourself."

"You can leave now!" Gibbs grabbed his sanding block and threw it at Fornell.

Tobias easily ducked it, proving once and for all that Gibbs wasn't truly angry at him. "Oh, no, you don't get to be like that." He scolded the NCIS agent. "I just put up with an hour and a half of the most annoyingly techie I ever liked and it's all your fault. You deserve a little discomfort. I hope the two of them are boffing like bunnies."

"Fine." Gibbs said, wincing at the image Tobias had painted. "I'll give you that one. Even if it's not true."

"Ha." Tobias tossed the sanding block back to Gibbs. "Get back to work. I like you better when you aren't scheming against me."

Gibbs easily wrapped the sandpaper around the block more tightly, with an ease born of years of practice. "Fine. Don't drink all my bourbon."


End file.
